Mother’s Day – The Day After

Mother’s Day was yesterday and basically, it was the perfect day.

I had already preemptively bought myself a plump globe of trailing flowers (all kinds of mauve, suitable for outside) and The General purchased some sumptuous tenderloin for a bbq, as well as ferrying me to a local Pottery show I get very excited about. When we got home, he presented me with a noodle bowl in that deeply glorious Marc Chagall blue I have talked about here before and a tiny scarlet mushroom suitable for a troll patio set.

So kind! So romantic! And best part? So ME.  My heart was soaring.

I had also decided that this year there would be no obsession about Mother’s Day cards (cards or no cards) I would have a most excellent day to myself and I absolutely did; devoid of self-pity, weeping or flipping through photo albums of The Lost Years.

(Chardonnay may or may not, have played a role in this plan).

As it happened, both Frasier and Niles did make contact and we stalled Mother’s Day till the Monday due to work schedules but there was a sentimental card and presents and I had another idyllic day with them; my two handsome sons who ongoingly delight in one another’s company, laughing, finishing off one another’s sentences and at dinner time they reappeared briefly in the driveway to borrow tools since Frasier was helping Niles install a wall mount for his new enormous TV.

It makes my heart ache that there is no way to impart my pearls of life wisdom (such as they are) to them.

The General and I agreed that it’s literally impossible to give advice to your kids and be taken seriously or even heard.

Whether it’s about banking,  relationships or where best to plant the rhubarb crowns I just delivered, you can tell that behind those shining eyes and the earnest nodding, they are already at their friends’ birthday party, or chasing off to play Beer pong,  or golfing or perhaps building the ideal sandwich in their mind.

It’s no one’s fault- they have no point of reference for bankruptcy, dental plans  or why it might be seemly to start saving for retirement now. It seems like an improbable situation, unlikely to happen and does not apply to THEM.

And maybe that’s how it should be, appropriate even – why rush to all this CRAP that we have to deal with when you are having such a great time.

Also, somewhat arrogantly, my experience really isn’t their experience.

All I can really offer is my own very biased take on things and emit dire warnings that sound like, well, someone’s mum.

When they embraced me today, strong arms folding me in like a little bird I wondered if I seemed old to them – or just the same?  I watched out of the car window till they were far in the distance, I saw their heads thrown back in laughter, then waving to me and ultimately turning away and I felt so physically torn, like ripped fabric, as if they were leaving me for the first time all over again.

Good thing they only live around the corner …