Gay Husbands . Getting Older . Grey Divorce . The General
Grey Divorce
On January 29, 2017 by Speranza
The General and I were having our usual Sunday morning coffee discussion group today (only 2 people permitted, dressing gowns required) and listening to a superb documentary about “grey divorce” which caused us to sit exchanging (sometimes worried glances) as women discussed either having to leave their partners of many decades or being left themselves, each terrifying for different reasons. Of course, for the person who leaves, that ‘terror’ is often closer to excitement: the beginning of something new and a totally fresh start sponged clean of predictability, routine and the other assorted shackles of family life.
Darkness . Gay Husbands . Grey Divorce . Music
I Wanna Be Yours
On January 25, 2016 by Speranza
I’ve often thought that if I had ever become an English teacher it would have been interesting to analyze the lyrics of songs as class assignments. So many songs are poetry in their own right (I’m looking at you Diamonds and Rust) but will never be recognized as such; at least not in that respected canon of what really counts.
(And whilst I don’t envision Harold Bloom-esque academics excitedly rushing home to tease out the classical allusions buried within Gangnam Time the fact remains that song lyrics often evoke a personal, singular meaning for listeners that the original writer could not possibly have imagined).
And that is, simply part of the art.
Gay Husbands . Grey Divorce . Love
Brief History of Toxic Nostalgia
On March 22, 2015 by Speranza
I often recall a line from a truly great poem called ‘Liar’ by Lynne Crosbie in which she notes that ‘expectation is synonymous with the worst arrogance.’
This is something I often think of when I recall my innocent, totally secure, married self.
I assumed that my long term, contented happiness was static – I expected it. I’m still ashamed, embarrassed; but don’t all people who are in love feel that way and especially when that love has expanded and grown even stronger over the years? I do see now that it really was a kind of arrogance and unfortunately I can never think this way again or feel so safe.
And safe is the perfect word.
Gay Husbands . Gray Divorce
The Day I Ran Over George Michael
On November 21, 2014 by Speranza
It’s been 15 years since my husband left us – suddenly and completely – and I still sometimes struggle with aligning my personality to what happened.
None of the popular options available (angry.bitter.regretful.devastated.forgiving) seem palatable and even after so many years, complete indifference also still seems elusive.
I’ve observed some women “moving on” perhaps more traditionally, by re-inventing themselves with a new tattoo or job or hair colour; swopping man-bashing stories whilst enjoying tequila shooters with other Divorced Friends and peppering the conversation with recently learned terms such as “crazy-making behaviour,” “borderline” and “narcissist.” As one of my brothers wryly observed it’s funny how years ago people were just asses.