Being A Girl . Childhood . My Father
Send in the Clowns … or, Maybe Not
On July 11, 2023 by Speranza
Every year from about the age of 10, my father presented me with tickets that would admit myself and a friend to the Shriner’s Circus, an extravaganza that promised to thrill and delight with live animal acts galore and clowns whose snowy foreheads wrinkled like accordion pleats. I sensed how proud my dad was to be able to pass these tickets along and knew I should be grateful. (There was also an element of fear involved since he would have been livid if I’d refused to go since that would be “showing him up.”) But truly, I hated every part of the experience especially the animals dressed in humiliating, ill-fitting outfits. The crowd would cheer as a “bear in a frock” balanced on a ball or an elephant wearily rose up onto its hind legs or a twitchy monkey repeatedly tipped his hat. But I pictured all of these animals after the show, miserably shivering in the darkness of their cages, far away from family and natural habitat while we narrow-minded spectators trampled striped, flattened popcorn boxes on greasy-grey floors to exit the building quickly so we could begin thoughts of our next meal.
(I may or may not have been heavily influenced by ‘Dumbo’ here … )
Art for Art's Sake . Childhood . Music . My Mother
The Accordion at my House
On March 13, 2023 by SperanzaObviously not me …
When I was about 8 years old, a salesman knocked on our door (yes, this actually used to happen!) and I galloped excitedly to be the one who answered. As the door opened, I saw a man so good looking, I gaped openly. With his dark, slicked back hair (think: Don Draper selling accordions) and a lanky, cool confidence he made the accordion slung across his shoulder seem like the piano’s bad-ass, edgier cousin.
And, he politely looked around the door for my mother and gestured because he wanted to talk to me, particularly!
Childhood . Fear
WhereWolf
On February 8, 2022 by Speranza
When I was six years old, we lived in an older home that had push-button light switches.
It was like two Licorice All-sorts ( the black and white ones with that snowy core of coconut) had been inserted into the wall.
I assume these fixtures would be left overs from an ancient electrical system but to my young eye they seemed the pinnacle of elegance. (Yes, I harbored faint longings for a somehow yet-to-be-discovered aristocracy even then …)
Childhood . My Mother . Nostalgia
Make Mine a Troll
On May 29, 2019 by Speranza
Anyone who knows me well has heard about my devotion to “Trolls” (aka “Gonks” in the UK) the popular, hi-liter haired dolls that were very popular in the sixties. While other girls were collecting the newest Barbie, it’s probably quite telling in some weird psychological way that I was never impressed or even remotely interested in regular dolls and instead much preferred my growing tribe of Trolls. Each one had a different hair colour, including two with striking, snow-white tresses whom I presumed to be elderly and accordingly named Martha and Frank. I saved diligently to increase my collection whenever possible and expanded to include the tiny Trolls sold as pencil toppers or key-chain danglers although their hair was never the same caliber as the larger ones and would routinely tear off in one piece, like a bright conical flame with a stiff headband of adhesive.
This was always a sad moment because a bald Troll is suddenly a bit too close to a perverted uncle for anyone’s liking.
Childhood . Music . My Mother . Nostalgia
Club Django and More
On October 9, 2016 by Speranza
Last week a friend (actually, two separate friends, who both know me well) invited me to come along and hear Club Django. I do love hearing bands play live and I particularly like this kind of music but sometimes it seems like too much trouble after a long day at work and the concept of coming home and going out again seems unbearable.
Still, as noted here before, I find Klezmer (or so-called ‘Gypsy Jazz’) reliably cheering so my friends collected me at the especially odd time of 2pm and we moved out of the glinty sunshine into a darker venue to catch Club Django in concert.
And from the opening notes, I was so, so happy that I did.