Top Ten Reasons Why Organizing isn’t as Satisfying as They Say
On March 28, 2016 by Speranza
10. All those towels rolled as tightly as the folds in our brains may look pristine on the shelf but as a colleague of mine once lamented, how can I get the stripes to line up? (I hope she is now seeking help from someone other than Ralph Lauren.)
9. I worry about our collective obsession with clear plastic containers and bulk-buying. Is there an apocalyptic-style concern about suddenly not being able to access Q-tips?
8. Contradictory messages abound. Flip through any glossy paged cookbook and you will find well-dressed people idly admiring produce at an outside market as a wizened (but also well-dressed) vendor shares a joke. Not many of us can shop like this daily. I myself try to fake it by doing a market run as often as my job allows. The resulting sparkle however is hollow and short-lived; I never carry my baguette in a wicker basket either.
7. My eldest brother who is an Organizer Formidable has an entire drawer in his kitchen calligraphically labelled “Egg” and there resides a snug family of whisks, beaters, timers and coddlers. Although I tease him, I secretly think this is brilliant although I know I am not compulsive enough to have one myself.
6. I once tried to thriftily organize my make-up (as suggested in a magazine) by using a fishing tackle-box. Can I tell you that opening a lid that raises three levels of compressed space intended for hooks and lures is not going to up the Chanel factor? Especially if your tackle box is, um, not new. (Also, unless you have 28 eye-shadows just the same size, best not to opt for this method.)
5. The nice people at Lee Valley sell many time-saving gadgets including a can crusher which I once brightly suggested to tame the always-overflowing recycle box. I was then treated to a visual demonstration from Son #2 who flattened a pop can from a great height with his boot and then wordlessly stretched out both arms wide, à la Rapper-stance as he walked away.
4. There are youtube tutorials on how to fold and store fitted sheets attractively – and I have watched them! But why? Why is this a thing? My sheet sets still have fugitive pillowcases and someone (me) always ends up with the animated cartoon version alongside the 500 Egyptian thread count.
3. Despite what you are reading here, I do value and covet organization, I really do. It’s just that decanting shampoo into vintage bottles of matching height is not going to enrich my life in the way that magazines suggest. Imagine the free time this will give you, imagine how impressed visitors will be! But again not really; even worse, I may like it and then it’s one more thing to do!
2. Putting tools to bed for the season. Come on! Who amongst us – under the age of 85 – is tenderly wiping down their garden shears and secateurs with mineral oil before lovingly storing them in a (preferably old, French) ceramic vase filled with fine beach sand. No. And no.
1. I did not realize till I read recently that those pesky utensil organizers for kitchen drawers should really be corralled in place with Velcro discs lest they slide about; fortunately, mine are custom so smugness may be in order. I will take it.
A very ‘neat’ essay.