I have been redecorating my office. Disturbingly, this is something that has not happened for 27 years. I found myself looking at the inside of a door etched with the frantic nail scratching of a sweet dog, long since passed, who was frightened by thunder; paintable ‘Anaglypta‘ wallpaper now stiffly rippling with age, rising up like Japanese Wave Art across one wall; loopy, repulsive carpet when peeled back, reveals an ancient spotty underpad that always reminds me of Pimiento Loaf. (You know the one: a beige deli ‘meat’ with festive coloured bits sprinkled throughout. Spoiler: Those bits will not be maraschinos …)
Beneath the underpad is random, dirty flooring comprised of a variety of planks that likely originated from the garage of some drunken uncles who installed many years before …
There was much for me to do.