Darkness . Gay Husbands . Grey Divorce . Music
I Wanna Be Yours
On January 25, 2016 by Speranza
I’ve often thought that if I had ever become an English teacher it would have been interesting to analyze the lyrics of songs as class assignments. So many songs are poetry in their own right (I’m looking at you Diamonds and Rust) but will never be recognized as such; at least not in that respected canon of what really counts.
(And whilst I don’t envision Harold Bloom-esque academics excitedly rushing home to tease out the classical allusions buried within Gangnam Time the fact remains that song lyrics often evoke a personal, singular meaning for listeners that the original writer could not possibly have imagined).
And that is, simply part of the art.
British Stuff . Introspection . Music . Sadness
David Bowie
On January 16, 2016 by Speranza
My memories of David Bowie and my years as a teen in 1970s Britain cannot be separated from one another; they are stitched tightly together like a tapestry and as I discovered this week have not lost any of their potency.
I actually watched my hands shake when I read the news of his passing and have not been able to write about it till today.
My much older brother (whom I very fondly call ‘Spock’ ) took great enjoyment in regularly skewering my admiration of Bowie at the time although interestingly, this “phase” would continue into my adulthood since this was Not. A. Puppy Luu-uuv). Spock would frequently suggest that if Bowie was really the talent I claimed he was, he would not have to resort to the ‘gimmickry’ of different personas etc.
(Let’s just say that my brother was not entirely comfortable with Bowie’s sparkling, off-the-shoulder body stocking …)
Years later I stopped arguing with him or anyone else because if you are asking this kind of question you have either never listened to the music or, you just didn’t get it.
In which case, I feel badly for you – but cannot explain it.
To me Bowie was a poet, a brilliant, self-taught intellectual (that crisp, almost Royal annunciation wasn’t acquired on the streets of Brixton) and despite the glittery beginning I absolutely lusted after him. His voice could bring me to my knees (the earnest phrasing, the lingering over a syllable) and I listened over and over, often deep into the night, creating my own anthems, hearing something different each time.
Cats . Darkness . Music
Balkan Beat Box
On November 6, 2015 by Speranza
If you have been reading this blog regularly I apologize for the abject misery I’ve been pumping out.
I’m just starting to emerge from a funk-of-no-name, the kind of misery that makes you feel desperate but you are not sure why : there have been a few things of course, not the least of which was the sudden and shocking death of one of my young, sweet Siamese cats. Her brother has been grieving loudly and hourly since, making those dark sonorous chest yowls usually associated with Tibetan monks. It’s a chilling heart-breaking sound and cannot be stopped with food or entreaties from those around him.
I will write about The Willow Cat in a later post but for now, it’s still too fresh.
Anyway how to pull out of a funk when one wakes up with tears in one’s eyes wondering how to get through the day?
No quick answers here but a visit to my past and recalling which (small) things have cheered me before is always helpful and a good starting point.
Getting Older . Music
Little Triggers
On September 19, 2014 by Speranza
When I was 35 I distinctly remember believing – and I mean actually believing – that I was likely not going to age much more. It’s this kind of absolute conviction that allowed me to continue to wear those band t-shirts (Elvis Costello, The Clash, The Pretenders) possibly longer than I should have and to separate myself from those around me who may have already succumbed to floppy gym pants and soccer-mom haircuts. (These are always touted as ‘wash and wear’ but the truth is, if you’re not careful the whole family will end up with basically the very same do …)