I remember reading in a psychology book, a simple but intriguing quiz in which one presents the following scenario to a friend:

You are at a party, everyone is chatting and enjoying some food and drink. For some reason, you are called away and leave the room.

What do you think that the guests are now saying about you?

I tossed this out to Frasier and Niles when they were hanging out having a beer with me in the kitchen one airless, summer evening. Niles really struggled and couldn’t come up with much. He questioned why they would be thinking anything at all and laughed that he didn’t much care anyway as he loped across to the fridge. Frasier, on the other hand, frowned and shrugged, shifting about in his chair; but when pressed, he admitted that he thought they would most likely be thinking: Hey, who brought THAT guy?

Which made us laugh. A lot.

For myself, I wondered if there might be a universal discussion as to how particularly unattractive I was.

SPOILER ALERT: Try it yourself before reading any further: what do YOU think these guests would be saying?

Clearly, one doesn’t really need a PhD to figure this out, but the revelation is supposed to be our own predominant fears about how we are perceived by others. Niles is not lacking in the self-confidence department (having been told how good looking he is by strangers literally since birth) so I was highly amused that he did not even overly concern himself with the question.

It’s interesting, though isn’t it - even though it’s a bit pop-psych I admit. But try it with someone you trust. (Dislaimer: I wouldn’t recommend an older brother. I refer you to my own brother Spock and his vocal disdain for anything that smacks of “touchy-feely, self-indulgent crap”. Plus, there’s always a danger of being corrected about what those people would actually be saying and the (very real) concern that it could be even worse than I thought …)