I’ve worked in public libraries for a very, very long time now (in two different countries, yet) and one of my all-time deepest regrets is that I did not record more of my Library Stories. (Also, I really wish that I had taken more photographs of my co-workers but that’s another post …)

Fortunately, I do have an excellent memory though so I can conjure up many of the interactions quite easily since they are still present in my mental vault. Because I am (pretty much always) in the public area, I also inadvertently hear many conversations and since most writers are ‘thieves’ by the very nature of their business, it’s hard not to be inspired …

Consider the following:

HER: So I am totally hating my new job right now – the only part of my day that I even look forward to is riding the escalator. I just spread out my arms and it’s like I’m soaring, you know?

HIM: Right? It’s like that scene in ‘Titanic’ with Kate and Leo! I totally get it.

HER: Wait, there was an escalator on the ‘Titanic?’

No summary statement seems necessary here.

I was also treated to a heated phone call earlier in the day when someone shouted at me for a good five minutes because she was unable to track down a book that every library should have and what kind of establishment were we running not to have this vital book, a classic, no less, and when I finally calmed her down and persuaded her to let me check just one more time, I was told that her daughter desperately needed “How to Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee and what was I going to do about it.

( I briefly had an evil fantasy about politely referring her to Elizabethan cookery, but I obviously put the correct title on hold sans humiliation.)

She never even thanked me for clearing up the confusion and still seemed unreasonably angry when she hung up.

I am not confident that she believed me.

Only at the Library.