February Blahs

There’s a meme depicting a vintage woman with her head in her hands and the caption reads something like, “being a woman is like having a browser with 3,000 tabs open all.the.time.”

This is so, so true. At any one time, I can be thinking about a new recipe I want to try, whether or not I have time to go to the market, that spot under the door where an ambitious wind is literally sucking the heat out of the house, a subsequent trip to the hardware store for draft edging (maybe on the way to the market?) why I haven’t called my brother(s) lately, which kind of seeds I should start for the spring, if it’s worth pursuing a skin regimen that would include coconut oil, debating whether tomorrow is the time to begin afresh with a stretching routine and some actual meditation and then throw The General off completely by asking him randomly if he also thinks (as I do) that Coco Chanel’s famous boyfriend Boy Capel as seen here, looks exactly like Harry Connick Jr. right in the middle of a post-breakfast discussion about the British Raj in subcontinent India …

I think it can be quite alarming for him. Continue reading

Older Women and How they Got That Way

When I was a young woman just starting out in the working world, I often worked with “older” women whom I looked down upon for being perpetually cynical, negative and hard-boiled. Often they were also the kind of women who might sit on stools at the bar in their fifties, sharing limericks (and possibly Tequila) with sailors. As a confident newlywed, I once admitted at work that my new husband and I had opted not to have a television at all.

“Ha!” one of them snorted. “I give you 6 months!”

Since I felt infinitely superior in my own lofty, more evolved sphere, I was able to let this kind of low remark pass but I remember thinking privately I will never become like them.

I don’t think I have, exactly; but post-divorce, much older now, I see the whole thing with a different lens, fully appreciating the loss of a soft, golden innocence, the piercing sadness of betrayal and the kind of resentment that can form hard, sharp crystals in the heart. Continue reading

Getting Through January

 

 

It’s been ages since I posted here and I have been wittering and fretting about whether or not to even continue the blog, but ultimately, it’s a good discipline for a writer and frankly, the most instant way I know to be published.  Which is often satisfying.   All of this can make one feel extremely down of course (particularly when combined with a nasty virus that has only just released its claws from me) and I have spent rather too much time dwelling on Donald Trump, my own money worries, Black Mirror which I will never watch again as I only slept 92 minutes after watching two episodes, Donald Trump again, repetitively bad Tarot card readings and the atrophying effect that lack of collagen is wreaking on my person, which I like to confirm daily by going to the worst lit mirror in our house and hanging upside down.

I believe that this act may be the evil twin of doing Positive Affirmations.

Oh, and also wondering if I should be scanning the Book of Revelation with a fresher, keener eye for detail since the world we are living in at the moment seems poised for something that is um, not greatness. Continue reading

Goodwill Hunting

 

 

Trench

 

I absolutely love getting a deal and since I am not independently wealthy  I don’t enjoy idle, recreational clothes shopping because it rarely meets my own criteria of 1. finding exactly what I’ve already envisioned and 2.a suitably marked down price.

I also don’t need yet another striped shirt that I will loathe by the time I get home (and that I actually knew in the store that I didn’t really care for) and worse still, that I paid too much for.

One of the things that I like best about myself lately is that this seldom, if ever happens now; I’ve bought too many items in my life because the assistant took a great deal of time with me and I felt badly or, I was desperately hungry and couldn’t face another fun-house changing room mirror.

Which is why many years ago, I became what is now widely known as a Thrift Shopper. Continue reading