It’s been ages since I posted here and I have been wittering and fretting about whether or not to even continue the blog, but ultimately, it’s a good discipline for a writer and frankly, the most instant way I know to be published. Which is often satisfying. All of this can make one feel extremely down of course (particularly when combined with a nasty virus that has only just released its claws from me) and I have spent rather too much time dwelling on Donald Trump, my own money worries, Black Mirror which I will never watch again as I only slept 92 minutes after watching two episodes, Donald Trump again, repetitively bad Tarot card readings and the atrophying effect that lack of collagen is wreaking on my person, which I like to confirm daily by going to the worst lit mirror in our house and hanging upside down.
I believe that this act may be the evil twin of doing Positive Affirmations.
Oh, and also wondering if I should be scanning the Book of Revelation with a fresher, keener eye for detail since the world we are living in at the moment seems poised for something that is um, not greatness.
That being said, I grow even more vigilant than usual for not taking any act of goodness for granted in my own circle and for noticing all the kindness that surrounds me daily – for which I am extremely grateful.
Today our car mechanic managed to fix the sweet but geriatric car that Niles still drives about in. I had been so worried I could easily have wept when he explained everything to me, drew up the paperwork that will allow the car to stay on the road for another two years and only charged a fraction of what I anticipated.
Basically car mechanics are like gods to me, it’s as though they perform a rare and complicated surgery (no big deal) and no one really knows how they did it.
This month was also my birthday which can be a bit weird these past few years and a time for deep reflection and flipping through fitness books on the couch with a glass of wine.
My very best friend and my niece also took me out for dinner which was immensely fun. I just love the way the conversation flows so naturally, so honestly and is never boring, stilted or flat. A work colleague was lamenting to me about this distinction just the other day: the difference between good friends and acquaintances. With acquaintances, especially if you have not seen one another recently, the dinner can quickly become not unlike a bad job interview. Each person tells their story politely in turn, offering up the highlights from their children’s latest achievements, how their mate is doing, (always amazingly, of course) how their own work is going, the inevitable scrolling of phone photos and the predictable summary statement: “So ya, everything’s really good!”
As I grow older, I have less and less time for anything that remotely smacks of one-up-manship.
I am unimpressed that your child reads physics books for pleasure (“he just can’t seem to get enough!”) and has to be reminded to stop practicing the cello late at night, has never ever played a video game nor eaten a French fry from McDonalds. I’m sure that yam bars are all well and good but really? Really? Enough. Enough. And enough.
It’s January and it’s far too dark right now in so many ways – let’s just be kind to ourselves and each other. Am I wrong?